Sorry, I don’t support Dell PCs

A year ago I put my cellphone number on the Internet. If Scoble could do it, so could I, and I did, and yes it rings, but not as much as you would think.

Why is my cellphone on the Internet? Because it gives disappointed, frustrated, and otherwise freaked-out customers a neck to choke when they need one to throttle.

Just now the phone rang. I answered. The gentleman caller wanted to know if I could fix spyware. Um. Okay. Back up a second. What’s the problem? I ask.

I can’t connect to the internet. There’s no icon.

What icon? I ask.

There’s no Microsoft icon.

Back up some more. What model PC are you using?

I have no idea. You sold it to me. You should know.

Sir, can you tell me if it is a notebook or a desktop?

All I know is it is a Dell.

A Dell? Do you know you are calling Lenovo?

Leno-who? Do you sell security systems?

Lenovo. We sell ThinkPads and ThinkCentres

Can you fix my problem or not?

Sorry. I can’t help you. Call Dell.

I did. They said to call you.

Are you at the PC right now?

Yes.

What color is it?

Silver.

What does it say?

It doesn’t say anything.

What word is on the cover or inside.

Word? It says Dell!

Sorry. I can’t help you. I wish I could. But this number is for people with problems with Lenovo products.

I know this game. Microsoft. Dell. Whoever you are. You all pass the buck!

(At this point I am tempted to help the poor guy and walk him through Dave’s Blind-Leading-the-Blind Service Experience, but I am too busy) I wish him good luck as I hear an argument break out in the background.

Paranoid marketing

Linked-In may have figured out a way to induce people to pay for the perfectly adequate free service.

“See who has viewed your profile”

If that doesn’t appeal to one’s paranoid vanity, what else would? I know a “General Manager” at Thomson, and someone at Solon Management Consulting (probably Hubertus von Wulffen in Munich), and two Lenovo colleagues took a look. But the other 15?

That will cost me $20 a month. No thanks.

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