Papi – and the stink of the asterix

It was going to happen. The halo over the Red Sox clubhouse was sure to get tarnished.

Take one larger-than-life clutch slugger, humanize him with a nickname like “Big Papi”, canonize him as a Boston hero for breaking sport’s greatest curse, and then watch as he too goes down the doper drain with his former comrade in bats, Manny “Tranny” Ramirez, into doper ignominy.

They all dope. The cyclists. The swimmers. The underage gymnasts. The marathoners, the curlers, the badminton players. I say we embrace it, wrap our arms around, and adopt better living through chemistry.

Because until we do, we’re going to be dashing our naive hopes that someone, somewhere is truly a clean hero. So bring on Big Pharma and let’s see what science can do.

As my wife said this morning, “You said it yourself, Ted Williams probably would have doped too if he had the chance.”

But Yaz wouldn’t. Right?

Author: David Churbuck

Cape Codder with an itch to write

3 thoughts on “Papi – and the stink of the asterix”

  1. We’ve talked about this before. I share the notion. Let the athletes get pumped with whatever chemicals they may find. See them blow up on TV. Make it some sort of reality show or something.

    Brits would even start gambling on who the next big athlete to have a heart attack at 24 will be. Man, dying out of getting all doped could be a sports all on its own.

    And lets cut the crap of thinking some of this guys *might* actually be clean. None is.

  2. Ted Williams mey be dead but he sperm lives on in the reproducxtive clinics where it’s stiill in high demand here in San Diego. jim

  3. It will ruin competition as we know it if we go your suggested route. The trickle down to kids through parents will be real and dangerous. The amateur sports will continue to experience infilteration from performance enhancers driving out the fun. The insurance companies will be paying for it because shit we are 40 and getting slower must need some hgh, ching our premiums go up again. I could go on but it is getting boring. I am sticking with skiff racing and the PMC. Picking my dad up at the PMC ferry drop off got me stoked to do it again next year. You want in?

    If you want to watch a doping free for all watch body building or cage fighting.

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