Chaos at the airport

T.F. Green airport in Providence, RI was pure lunacy this morning. A bazillion Clampetts and Kettles heading for the bus in the sky to get themselves south for the winter. I think it was some weird harmonic convergence of spring break, March Madness, and my bad luck of taking a late flight instead of the usual 6 am dawn patrol.

Utter suckfest. Because the lines were so long I couldn’t check my bag, and in my bag was my Swiss Army knife/USB drive/key chain.

Busted. Got away with the drive and the keys. Goodbye knife. Like I was going to rush the cockpit with a 1.5″ pen knife. Then I discovered, when I took off my shoes for the metal detector, this gem from dressing in the dark. The TSA lady was horrified.
Now I think I understand why the news staff at the Lawrence Eagle-Tribune gave me clothing as a going away present in 1984. Something about hemming my pants with a Swingline Stapler.

Holy Argyle!

Author: David Churbuck

Cape Codder with an itch to write

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