Out of pocket

I am having minor surgery done on my right nostril/sinus/septum/schnoz today to fix a messed-up situation caused by the 2006 bike accident.

update: The septoplasty took three hours this afternoon- I have a  moustache bandage and two big black eyes. Not video was shot.

First rule in minor surgery: don’t be an all-knowing weenie and watch the procedure on YouTube. There are things that need not be known.

Second rule: unconsciousness is a good thing when chisels and silver hammers are involved. Do this in a tent — as Uncle Fester says — and welcome to the Civil War.

Third rule: any time you tell someone that you are about to have nose surgery the conclusion is either rhinoplastic vanity or a past problem with the devil’s dandruff.

Bottom line: I am going to be a vegetable the remainder of the weekend with 12 feet of gauze stuffed upside my head. By Monday I should be pawing at the ground and breathing through flared nostrils like a stallion.

Author: David Churbuck

Cape Codder with an itch to write

4 thoughts on “Out of pocket”

  1. Good luck!

    Are you going for for the Sissy Spacek or Jimmy Durante look?

    My first thought was neither vanity nor powder. You have no use for either. I went directly to your brother, Tom, pounding on you as a child.

    Or your misguided impression a few years back that you, on a bicycle, could win a joust with a car.

    Oh, yeah, post pictures. We want close-up before and afters

    Like

  2. Is the Flip camcorder making the trip with you? If you got video of your own surgery you would be a legend in the family. Does Elliot have a project due for advanced documentary?

    Like

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