So feeling extraordinarily eleemosynary this morning, I decided to take a pair of plastic grocery bags along with me for my morning constitutional, figuring I would polish my halo by picking up the litter that has bugged me the past month during my walks down the Main Street of the village to the town beach and back.
I thought I would deliver this partial census of what I found:
- Six empty plastic “nips” of booze ranging from Jim Beam to some strange orange flavored schnapps
- Three empty cigarette packages, including one Virginia Slims
- Four beer cans
- A torn thong. White. Lace. Victoria’s Secret. Medium.
- One bag of dog feces nearly tied but discarded in hopes someone else would dispose of it
- On the lawn of the parsonage, a “40” half filled with “High Gravity” malt liquor (I assume it is malt liquor).
This collection was awesome in its pure evil. I immediately washed my hands.