McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: A Routine Traffic Stop Can Change Everything in an Instant.
From McSweeney’s:
“I turned on siren and increased speed in the left lane and came abreast of vehicle, noticing a large numeral “5” painted on the side. Driver was Caucasian male in his mid-20s, wearing racing helmet and leaning forward over steering wheel. I eventually pulled slightly in front of his vehicle and forced it to the side of the road. As I approached the open window, driver began speaking very rapidly and incoherently about a volcano and a mountain crack that was closing. Upon request, he produced license identifying himself as SPEED RACER”.
Guess what the officer found in the trunk?
“Bad boys, bad boys … what cha gonna do? What cha gonna do when they come for you?”
For anybody who’s ever watched an episode of “Cops”, for gawd sake don’t speed or drive with a headlight out or no license plates or a bad indicator light if you’re transporting illegal narcotics or dead people!