From the police log ….

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: A Routine Traffic Stop Can Change Everything in an Instant.

From McSweeney’s:

“I turned on siren and increased speed in the left lane and came abreast of vehicle, noticing a large numeral “5” painted on the side. Driver was Caucasian male in his mid-20s, wearing racing helmet and leaning forward over steering wheel. I eventually pulled slightly in front of his vehicle and forced it to the side of the road. As I approached the open window, driver began speaking very rapidly and incoherently about a volcano and a mountain crack that was closing. Upon request, he produced license identifying himself as SPEED RACER”.

Guess what the officer found in the trunk?